No limits

    There are times when I wonder why? why everything always happens to me. why am I always the one that gets left behind, loses someone, a friend family member. why me? I have the worst luck on the face of the planet. somedays it just takes me to where I don't care at all. I don't care what anyone says or does. I have lost so many people over the past few years; family members, best friends, role models... anything and everything I have lost. sometimes I wish I could just sit in my room "the cave" in my bed all day and just write. Write about everything. I love to write. It always makes me feel better. It is a ways of getting things out without having to talk to someone. I can just respond to myself. I don't have to worry about what people are going to tell me, I don't have to have anyones opinion I can just be free and write whatever I want. There are no limits.
     I keep a journal. I got a new one the other day actually. My life is in my journal. Whatever i'm feeling I write about. I write poems, songs, notes. whatever I just write. It is an easy way to vent. I can share anything and not have to worry about that trust being lost and other people finding out. I have a slight trust issue if you want to say that. Over the years I have learned that t a certain extent you can't trust anyone. There are a selective few that I trust and really I don't even tell them everything. They didn't know until just now that i have a journal. It's not really a secret it's just something I have never really felt the need to tell anyone about until now. Without my journal I would probably be really lost; more lost than I already am.